Thursday, January 6, 2011

My General Lack of Geographical Reasoning

I'll start out by making this clear: I do not have a bad internal compass. I got a little lost in Wien, but that's about it. Usually I know exactly where I'm supposed to go, and can use a map or intuition to get there.

I'm talking about something completely different here. I am unable to comprehend distances when it comes to travel or separation. I am also unable to comprehend change of locale. Let me explain.

I left Berlin one day later than my parents. We flew out of the same airport. Although I knew that they had left the day before and were already back in the states, my mind kept telling me that if I went to the gate where they left from, they'd be on the other side of the security checkpoint. That could be interpreted as missing my parents, but were someone I knew to suddenly show up at Bogi, I wouldn't really have a hard time believing it. In my mind, I'm just a few hours away from home. Obviously, my rational mind knows that this isn't the case, but I keep thinking it anyway.

On to the second part. If I get on a plane and fly across the ocean, I don't think, "Wow! I'm in Europe now!" I think, "Look, it's another airport." Yes, people are speaking a different language, but my world is pretty much always boiled down to wherever I am. For instance, when I was in Berlin with my parents, I sometimes didn't want to leave the apartment because I liked it there. Never mind that I was in Berlin and there are lots of things to do there. I didn't really think about the fact I was in Berlin. I was just in an apartment with my parents. I didn't give a lot of thought to where I was going afterward or what I was going to do, I was just existing in a space. Likewise, when I'm at Bogi and in my room, I am just in my room. The world ceases to exist outside of those four walls and I just don't want to go anywhere.

My state is more important to me than my locale. I'm in a hotel room, kind of hungry, and alone. I have Internet. These are the things that are making an impression on my mind. The fact that I'm in Salzburg for the next three nights doesn't even enter my mind unless I force myself to think about it.

It's probably because of these things that traveling is stressful for me. There's a lot of locale changes and distances involved that my brain has trouble handling. In 5 months, I'll fly back to America. In my mind, that's less a journey of thousands of miles and more a logistics thing: I have to pack my bags, go through check-in at the airport, etc. There's really not a lot of thought to the length or distance of the trip, and I'm not expecting a lot of culture shock (though that last bit could be my own naivety).

I'm in Europe, but I can't help but feeling that I'm just in a hotel room. I could be anywhere and my feelings would be the same.

2 comments:

  1. I think I understand what you mean. I remember flying into Prague and I couldn't comprehend at all that I was thousands of miles from home. Sure it was exciting, but at the same time, it didn't seem so far away or so very different. Maybe that's the idea? You spend your life in one place, thinking the rest of the world must be very grand if only you could see it. Then you actually see it and realize that yes, it's nice, but you don't feel any different inside. It's not as grand as you expected. I thought that many times in Europe. Especially when I saw the Mona Lisa. I thought, "Wow, that's a lot smaller than I expected. Huh." Then I moved on and looked at other stuff. lol

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  2. I felt the same way when I was in Spain

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